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Sex with a disability gives the freedom of creativity, adaptability and a sense of humour! We say enthusiasm is more important than technique

How To Talk About Sex When Living With A Disability?

There are many misconceptions about sexual expression and disability, which can make it very challenging to talk and open up about sexual expression needs for a person living with a disability.

This is why you should always feel safe and respected when talking about your sexual quality of life with other people, whether it is your partner, your family, your friends, your carers, or a health professional.

Often, the topic about sexual expression is predominantly discussed around contraception, family planning, and STI prevention, which are all important parts of your sexual quality of life, however, the discussion about pleasure and sensuality during sexual expression is mostly neglected.

Depending on how safe you feel talking about your sexual expression goals and needs, you always have the right to involve your sexual pleasure goals and how you would like to achieve them, and with advances in technology and the support of a multidisciplinary health professional team (for more information about how health professionals can support you, please go to the Health Professional tag) , these goals can be achieved!

Your pleasure, sensuality, and having fun in sexual quality of life is crucial, too!

You should always feel safe, understood, respected and protected when you communicate your sexual expression needs with others!

If you would like to connect with a health professional specialised in this field, we are here to support you!

Sex Positions

One partner on top
For the ‘bottom’ partner: use pillows behind your lower back and/or knees for support. A wedge pillow under your knees can reduce pain in lower back, offer easy access to genitals and help minimise spasms. You can experiment with the top and bottom partner assisting with thrusting. ​

Using wheelchair or chair
For the ‘top’ partner: You can sit on the ‘bottom’ partner’s lap face-to-face, away, or to the side.
For the ‘bottom’ partner: You can also be penetrated or receive oral sex by moving your buttocks to the edge of your wheelchair or chair and having your partner kneel or sit in front of them. This position is suitable for people with poor balance. Removable armrests and lateral supports can increase the options for sex in a wheelchair. In wheelchairs without removable arms, the ‘top’ partner can sit on the ‘bottom’ partner’s lap, facing away and use the armrests for support.

Side-lying positions
This position can be useful for people who use catheters and have a leg bag. A cushion between a person’s legs can ease hip discomfort and facilitate penetration or sexual acts from behind.
Alternatively, one person can lie on their side with the other sexual partner at a 90-degree angle penetrating from behind which can reduce the need for upward thrusting.

There are many fun positions to be explored!

If you would like to connect with a health professional specialised in this field, we are here to support you!

Assistive Devices

Assistive sex toys adding to the fun!

Leather cuff
​A leather cuff with an elastic strap can hold a variety of objects including sexual devices such as dildos and vibrators.

Thigh rider
A leather harness for dildo, worn around thigh to use with a partner.

Tongue vibrator
A massager that attaches to your tongue or any other body part. Requires little to no hand function.

Thigh Sling
The sling fits around the neck and has adjustable leg straps to hold legs in an open position. This allows easy contact for sexual activity, for people experiencing decreased muscular strength and endurance.


Positioning Pillows
Soft-core foam positioning pillows that can be used in a variety of ways during sexual activity including supporting under hips when on hands and knees, supporting pelvis in upward tilt. Wedge, ramp and rocking pillows available.


Sex Swing/Hoist
This product can be used for higher level injuries, suitable for a wide range of sexual activity and positions. The hoist can also be used as a sex swing, alternatively.


The Disability After Dark podcast by Andrew Gurza shines a light on sex and disability. Since its launch in 2016, it has surpassed over 100,000 downloads worldwide and has been in the Top 100 sexuality podcasts in North America. New episodes are available weekly on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and Stitcher.

Remember, you're not alone! Take a look below to hear people with a physical disability and their journey to sexual expression.